So, there it is. Another night of more weird dreams. This time I dreamt of my aunt, or one of them. She was the one I felt closest to growing up, but due to some family squabbles and side-taking, I haven't seen her in ages. (That's not just a blog post, but probably a whole book of drama right there...)
But I had a dream where I had a secret spy mission and ended up at my aunt's house. Kind of. You know how dream logic goes.
Inside it was familiar turf, but not quite, if that makes sense. There were cubbyholes and secret entrances, and loads of decor for my eyes to take in.
For some reason I went to take a shower in her private bath, and it was elaborate with engravings and paintings all over. I remember a huge glass door by the shower with Art Deco accents.
Then my cousins showed up and we began to argue. In real life we never really argued, except some light or silly bickering, but this was intense, angry, full of hurt.
I think I felt I needed to get away from the bad feelings, so I woke up, but still was yearning to go back and explore and maybe run into my aunt, try and explain that I got pulled into taking my mom's side, even if I didn't 100 percent agree with it, or understand it entirely.
I still don't.
I've been dreaming of family a lot lately, though. People I want to see but just can't find. The aunt who's somewhere else and I'm hoping I can just talk to her.
Or me planning to help my mother move but complications keep tumbling into the way.
Or I'm trying to find my father and he's so distant. In one way he's around the corner, yet far away. I keep forgetting his phone number or wondering why he never wants to call me.
All of these people have been gone from my life for a while. The aunt, through the family rift. My father died in 1989. My mother died nearly two years ago, but she'd long been more "absent" and not her old self due to her dementia.
The dreams are kind of comforting, though, maybe a traveling to memories and impressions of the past. I just wish I had more time to talk sometimes rather than just being assaulted by details and missed opportunities.
How about you? Are your dreams vivid? Do you dream of people you've lost?
Do you have vivid dreams? I sure do. I don't have them every night, but they come in waves. Wild, colorful, crazy waves loaded with details. A bit light on plot sometimes, however. But, oh, the details.
One recent one I had was about some house out in the boonies, flanking a highway and a huge meadow. It came fully furnished, with loads of knicknacks and tchotchkes. A house full of things. And memories. And it was pulling me in, wanting me there, slowly pushing the asking price down to get me to bite. I was tempted.
As dream logic goes, it was a haunted place, with generations of ghosts populating the spot. They were outside, and in the portraits on the wall, and lingering on vases and curtains and more.
It was fascinating and I can't even provide all the details. It was simply too chock-full.
My husband was around. Somewhere. Maybe at work.
My mother was there, but not a ghost, I don't think. Some boyfriend of hers was too. He collected ghosts, it seemed. But it was also Halloween, and we waited for trick-or-treaters. They would come, at dusk. But every time dusk drew near, time skipped and soon we'd be waiting, again, for darkness to land.
It kind of tapered off from there, except I knew I was meant to be there. Not as a ghost, but a person. I had some purpose there, some kind of connection to the place and its haunting inhabitants. I wasn't afraid, but I knew they wanted me and somehow I wanted them. I felt like we could work well together. Whether I would be there to manage the place, to help finish some unresolved issues, or if I were just a roommate they wouldn't mind having, I can't be sure.
But I've been thinking of the dream for days, savoring its intricate details, wondering how I could turn it into a book.
Do you ever have strange dreams? Mine come in waves. Sometimes I swear it's a full moon that's two days away and the light is recharging the wild and random parts of my subconscious. Other times, I'm not so sure. It is what it is, I guess.
The other night I had some odd ones, though. One involved my husband. He was by me, and you could flip a light switch and he'd change from white to black. Like, legitimately turn into another man. On-off-on-off. Hubby. Not hubby. Hubby. Not hubby. I think he looked like Kanye West. (Maybe that was from recent news reports.) I had to laugh because the imagery was so surreal in the dreamscape.
I also dreamt of opening my cell phone and batteries flew out (for some reason, triple-As, which definitely weren't right). It was followed by a very large orange butterfly emerging, and flying right into my eye. I felt it brush against my eyelashes and lid, and jerked. Suddenly awake, I was looking around for the butterfly, but then realized it was a dream.
Or was it?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was a dream, but you know, they feel so real.
Maybe in some other realm they are.
Or maybe while you're dreaming them, they are real.
Or maybe it's the brain mucking through all the clutter of the day.
In any case, it's interesting. I've had more interesting dreams than the shifting husband or the butterfly, but these were so vivid, like getting some super high-def dreaming in.
Do you have strange dreams? Do you dream in color?
I have some crazy, and vivid dreams, sometimes. This one I almost want to find a way to turn it into a story.
Last night I dreamt I was at some sort of drive-in, but instead of parking and watching a movie you sat on old wooden benches like the ones you see at neglected picnic areas at rest stops. The park had a folksy vibe, with bales of hay and flowers set next to the benches. Some kind of recent comedy was going to be shown. I ended up waiting for a fellow writer and we got to joshing around, amusing ourselves more than anything.
We were both hungry, so we got into line at the concessions stand, which was behind the ticket booth. It was more along the lines of the haybales and barn setting. I found it quaint and charming in a way where it seemed like the next logical step would be to mosey on off for a hard cider and to visit some petting zoo.
Instead I got into line for some food, and while my friend got her order in a timely manner, the vendor kept ignoring my order and fulfilling everyone else's ahead of me. Eventually I got into a passive-aggressive argument with a concessions guy about an ear of corn. I remember trying to work myself enough to be outspoken in a way that was both effective and didn't make me look hostile, even though I knew I deserved better service. I don't remember if I got my order, however.
Then I was getting a ride home with the editor who had treated me to the movie, realizing I hadn't even sat down to enjoy one minute of the movie -- it's funny how one gets sidetracked in dreams.
From there I was being driven along a road flanked by two bodies of water and ended up in a movie theater that showed bizarre films. There were several screens in one large room, and everyone was watching movies at odd angles (one facing one wall, another facing the center of the room, etc.) My husband is a fan of strange movies, so I had to tell my husband about the theater. He went off somewhere, presumably to check out a movie he was curious about, so I sat to watch one movie. I kept worrying about beach sand and the tide coming in to where I was sitting. That's when a shark-dragon monster emerged out of the screen.
Time to go home, I thought, so my husband and I were driving back, after navigating our way out of some complex parking lot. In between we had to go to McDonald's and I remember I wanted a filet-o-fish and fries. He ordered two Indian-accented salad meals, but the orders were somehow botched. As I got into an argument with someone behind the counter, demanding our money back, I realize my husband had been the one to place the wrong order. Nonetheless, the service was slow, and the cashier refunded us and told us to take the food.
We opted to head home, and found ourselves in some half-familiar countryside, driving through some area that had been carved out of a small mountain, like you would see in the eastern parts of Kentucky.
As we started along I spied a dead body along the road.
I was disturbed by the site, and felt a deep sense of dread.
We circled around to call the police, and to identify which mile marker the body was at, but couldn't get back around easily so we struggled to find the right area a second time. I sort of found it, but didn't. (Thanks, dream logic.)
From there I debated waiting around but wanted to go home and be away from the spot, which I grew convinced was cursed and that looking at it would cause trouble. We finally told the police where to look and kept going, because I was fearful to linger in that area.
On the way back home I saw more bodies, in orange jumpsuits, along the cut-back mountains, and then finally (finally!) woke up.
The details remain vivid, and I'm grateful that I've always been one to have such lucid dreams, but it really gets me wondering sometimes, why all these things end up mashing together in my mind.
Someone who does dream interpretations might have a field day, I suppose.